Relationship is a very delicate and sensitive topic; because, it changes its character depending on the people involved in it – say between husband and wife, between parents and their children, between the siblings, between friends, between colleagues, and so on. And how such a relationship can affect you and your family and how your relationship can make your life more beautiful.
At the outset we must remember the fact, it is our attitude towards life and work that makes our life 100%!!! Attitude is everything. You change your attitude and we change your life! Attitude can affect your relationship, very badly at times, making your life into a big zero.
It is very important to understand the life style married couple live in the present scenario. So, before we discuss further, you must realise various situations they are in, like –
- They must be newly married: There is a tendency to share their past life. In a way it might help to understand each other. But it can also have some adverse effects. So, do it only after you fully understand your spouse.
- Very much interested/ interested / least interested in physical / sexual relationship: A good physical relationship is the back bone of a happy married life. It is quite natural to enjoy sexual life after marriage. Nowhere it is written that you should have sex only once a day/ week/ month etc. It’s all up to the couple to enjoy their sex considering their health, time / space available. It will be ideal if they can work out a common interest and plan their sexual life. Another point, it is quite possible to watch porn videos and try those actions in your own life. This is not advisable unless agreed to by both.
- Husband well educated, wife well educated/ both are well educated: Knowledge is wealth. It will help you to get a better job and get respect from others. You can also help and guide your children.
- Only husband working, both husband and wife working: Generally you find husband works and he is the earning member of the family. But now a days, in order to live a comfortable life you find both husband and wife working. With this, housekeeping/ managing the house/ children becomes little difficult. Under such circumstances, both the husband and wife should share the responsibilities based of their work schedule and other commitments. And if required, additional arrangements should be done by appointing suitable servants etc.
- Husband earning more salary/ wife earning more salary/ both earning good salary: It is quite natural that salary is paid according to the Company policy, the post you hold and also the career prospects of that company. Actually, there should not be any argument like I am earning more than you so I have every right to take decisions in my family or something like that. The thought process should be, we both are earning for our family. Let’s work out a proper finance planning for our family, so that we can save for the education of our children and for our retirement age.
- Husband n wife working in the same organization: It has both plus/ minus points. It can save you a lot of expenses for travelling. But you both r working on a different shit altogether, it has negative points. Further, working together in the same company, if the company lay off or some employees’ strength reduction, then you both will be effected and thus it will affect your family income. Ideally, it would be advisable not to work in the same company.
- Husband holding a senior post/ wife holding a senior post than her husband: There is no problem due to this to others. But if wife is holding a senior post compared to her husband, then wife should not try to put her supremacy in the house saying that she is holding a senior post.
- Husband is older than his wife by a few years/ husband and wife are almost of the same age/ couples having/ not having their own children: This is a very delicate issue between the married couple. Husband may insist on an early child whereas wife wanted a child after a couple of years. Or may be tried their best but didn’t succeed. Or even after a few years, they didn’t have a child, may due to, wife/ husband refusing to have sex or may be on some health grounds they cannot have any children. All these situations can create turbulence in their relationship and will bring in frustration in their minds and it will affect their married life. Never give up hope. Miracle can happen any time.
- Both husband and wife are healthy/ one of them has some ailments: Everyone wants to remain healthy. A healthy mind in a healthy body will help you the make your dreams into a reality. But, as the saying goes, ‘Man proposes and God disposes’. We find quite unexpected things happen in your life, like accidents, ailments and so on. When this occur, you often get disappointed and frustrated and you lose your hopes. The thought process says, let’s hope nothing of that sort happens in your life. And if at all something happens, face it with courage and face the challenges and move forward.
- Both or one of them is ‘nagging’: This is something generally husbands/ wives don’t like – a nagging wife / a nagging husband. So try and avoid being a nagging wife or a nagging husband.
- Husband and wife belong the same religion/ husband and wife belong to different religions: Often we hear people saying, ‘It was love at first sight and soon they got married.’ If both are from the same religion, then there is no problem. If you believe in religion and if they belong to different religion then either they should follow same religion or allow to follow each others’religion.
- Tendency for controlling husband/ wife: Some men/women want to control their husbands’/ wife’s activities, which mostly no one will like. So it would be better to avoid such an attempt, which will only spoil your relationship.
- Mutual Sharing: Mutual sharing is the best way to build up a strong relationship. Maintain a good transparency of your life activities. This will help you to build up mutual trust.
Common Factors: However, there are certain common factors that are applicable for building up a strong relationship between the married couples – mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual support, taking initiative, understanding each other (each other’s strengths and weakness, likes and dislikes, positive/ negative qualities, a will to learn and a will to work), keeping the family secrets within the family and not sharing them with your friends/ relatives, unless otherwise required.
These common factors really contribute a lot in making your relationship very cordial/ healthy and enjoyable. And remember, whatever be the situation, your attitude towards life can make your life a HEAVEN or a HELL.